A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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