I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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