Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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