i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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