I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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