I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
