screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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