It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
