is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
