I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The feeling are messing with the penis
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
