You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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