so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
