I feel like I'm in dance class right now
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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