she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
