i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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