He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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