It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
