I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
