Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!

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(631): View more from New York

i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not

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(641): View more from Iowa

My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.

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(407): View more from Florida

hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate

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(801): View more from Utah

If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!

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(519): View more from Ontario

I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.

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