YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
