you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
