i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
