Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize