hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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