naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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