I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
and she was petting her beer can
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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