I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize