just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
