That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
