I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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