Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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