he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize