pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So gin and wine won't be happening again
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
