question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
im on a boat
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