My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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