I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
