I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
