no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
me + whiskey = a bad person
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
