New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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