they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize