dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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