thus making me awesome and them whores
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
