We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
