Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Your penis caused this!
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