my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
