Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
