So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
