Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
