if i can run in heels then i can drive
dude i'm inner monologue high
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
