Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
