I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
