ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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