you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
