So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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