i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
