Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
