I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
