you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's rum buckets o'clock
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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