Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
