Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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