Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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