similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
