I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
