bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize