i wish my penis had a tongue
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
