Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize