Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
