I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
