I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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