I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
