Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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