I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize