my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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