Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
