apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We are all done wearing pants today
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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