Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
