I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
