she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize