maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
