break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
